What 90 kink roles mean when someone writes them in an ad, grouped by family, with the roles each one usually pairs with.
Kink personal ads often lead with a role: a word that says what part someone wants to play, and so who they are looking for. These are the 90 roles AseeksB members can tag their posts with, grouped into families. Each entry says what the role means and which roles it usually pairs with. Every role here describes something between consenting adults.
Power exchange roles: one partner agrees to lead and the other agrees to follow, within limits they have negotiated together. The dynamic is often written D/s.
A person who, by agreement, takes power, authority or control in a relationship, scene or activity.
Often pairs with: submissive, Switch
A male-identifying Dominant: a person who, by agreement, takes power, authority or control in a relationship, scene or activity.
Often pairs with: submissive
A female-identifying Dominant: a person who, by agreement, takes power, authority or control in a relationship, scene or activity.
Often pairs with: submissive, Worshipper, Sissy
A person who agrees to give up control to a partner in a relationship, scene or activity, within limits they have set together.
A person who takes either role, as a Top or Dominant or as a bottom or submissive, depending on mood, partner or situation. Some switches enjoy changing the dynamic during a scene.
Often pairs with: Switch, Dominant, submissive
A person who, by agreement, takes ownership of a partner they are in a relationship with. The dynamic is often written M/s.
A person, usually a woman, who by agreement takes ownership of a partner they are in a relationship with.
A person who, by agreement, takes ownership of another, often a slave, pet or property.
A person who agrees to give total control to a partner they are in a relationship with. Compared with property, the role is more about service and pleasing.
A person who agrees to give total control to a partner they are in a relationship with. Compared with slave, the role is less about service and more about doing what they are told.
A person who enjoys being treated and played with as a toy, by agreement.
A person who wants a very particular kind of praise, care and attention from a partner.
A person who reveres and admires the partner they are in a relationship with. Worship can also be physical devotion, such as body worship.
A person who believes in or practices firm discipline with a partner, through rules and consequences they have agreed together in advance.
A person who enjoys being teasing, playful, mischievous, stubborn or disobedient with a partner, often as part of a power exchange.
Often pairs with: Brat-tamer, Disciplinarian
In Gorean roleplay, which is based on John Norman's Gor fantasy novels, a woman who takes the role of an owned slave, by agreement.
Often pairs with: Master
These describe who does what during an activity, not who is in charge. Many people are both a Dominant and a Top, but the two can come apart: a Service Top, for example, tops for a bottom's enjoyment without needing to be in charge.
A person who, by agreement, does the activity or gives the sensation during kink activities. It may or may not include dominance.
Often pairs with: Bottom
A person who receives the activity or sensation during kink activities. It may or may not include submission.
Often pairs with: Top, Service Top
A Top who negotiates activities and intensities for the enjoyment of both themselves and their bottom, without needing a D/s dynamic.
Often pairs with: Bottom
A person who enjoys giving pain or humiliation, physical, emotional or mental, to a partner who has agreed to it.
Often pairs with: Masochist
A person who enjoys receiving pain or humiliation, physical, emotional or mental, by their own choice.
Often pairs with: Sadist
Rope has its own vocabulary, and these roles describe skill and position, not power. Being tied does not make someone submissive.
A person who practices the art of bondage, usually with rope.
Often pairs with: Rope Bottom, Rope Bunny
A person who is tied in rope bondage. They are not necessarily submissive.
Leather is one of the oldest kink communities, with its own traditions and protocols. It grew out of gay men's BDSM and motorcycle club culture after World War II. Titles like boy, girl and boi describe a role in the tradition, not an age.
A man who has a fetish for leather, follows the traditions and protocols of leather BDSM, or both.
A woman who has a fetish for leather, follows the traditions and protocols of leather BDSM, or both.
An authority figure in the leather community or tradition.
Often pairs with: Leather boy, Leather girl, Leather boi
An authority figure in the leather community or tradition.
Often pairs with: Leather girl, Leather boy, Leather boi
A person in the leather community or tradition who performs kink activities on a partner.
Often pairs with: Leather bottom
A person in the leather community or tradition who receives kink activities from a partner.
Often pairs with: Leather Top
An adult submissive in the leather community or tradition, usually looking for a mentor and authority figure such as a Leather Daddy or Leather Mommy.
Often pairs with: Leather Daddy, Leather Mommy
An adult submissive in the leather community or tradition, usually looking for a mentor and authority figure such as a Leather Daddy or Leather Mommy.
Often pairs with: Leather Daddy, Leather Mommy
A person in the leather community or tradition who may be submissive or in a junior role, and who often does not identify with binary gender labels.
Often pairs with: Leather Daddy, Leather Mommy
A person who cleans and polishes boots and leather gear, as part of play, for the love of the craft, or as a way to give back to the community.
Roleplay in which one partner takes on an animal's mindset and the other cares for, trains or directs them.
The leading partner in pet play, who cares for, trains or directs a pet. Often paired with a pup.
A person, who may or may not be into animal roleplay, who enjoys being treated as beloved and owned.
A person who enjoys art and other media featuring human-like animal characters, often with a fursona, their own furry persona. Some wear costumes called fursuits. Furry is a fandom first, and not every furry is into kink.
Primal play puts instinct ahead of formal rules and protocol, within limits the partners have agreed in advance.
A person who prefers instinct to rules, traditions and protocols, and defines their role for themselves, often around animal instincts and desires.
Often pairs with: Primal
A primal who enjoys chasing and trying to catch a willing partner. Often paired with Primal Prey.
Often pairs with: Primal Prey
A primal who enjoys being chased by a partner. Often paired with Primal Predator.
Often pairs with: Primal Predator
Age play is roleplay between consenting adults in which one partner takes a nurturing, caregiving role and the other a younger, cared-for headspace. It is about a mindset and a dynamic, not anyone's real age, and everyone in these roles is an adult. AseeksB's posting guidelines ban any content involving or alluding to minors, including fantasy and roleplay.
An adult who enjoys age play, taking on a younger or older role than their own with a consenting adult partner.
The nurturing, caregiving partner in an age-play dynamic between consenting adults. A general term that covers Daddy, Mommy and Caregiver.
An adult who takes a loving, nurturing and protective role with an adult partner, usually a Little.
A person who takes a nurturing, paternal role in a relationship. Also used for an older or dominant partner, with or without age play.
A person who takes a nurturing, maternal role in a relationship. Also used for an older or dominant partner, with or without age play.
An adult who enjoys a playful, carefree, younger headspace with a trusted adult partner, often a Caregiver. The relationship may or may not include power exchange.
An adult in a younger headspace that feels older and more independent than a Little's.
An adult who wants a nurturing, parental figure as a partner. Also widely used as a term of endearment for a female-identifying submissive.
Roles where one partner changes another's look or behavior, or wants to be changed, by agreement. They describe play, not anyone's gender identity.
A person who enjoys being objectified and transformed, by themselves or a partner, into a living doll. Often paired with a Dollmaker.
Often pairs with: Dollmaker
A person who enjoys dressing, grooming and posing a partner as a living doll. Often paired with a Doll.
Often pairs with: Doll
A person who enjoys feminizing a partner, usually a man, by changing their appearance, behavior or mindset, with their agreement.
Often pairs with: Sissy
Some of these are kinks. Drag is a performance art, and dressing across gender lines is not always sexual. They are here because people use them in ads.
A person who is aroused by particular objects, materials or non-sexual parts of the body.
Short for cross-dresser or transvestite: a person who wears clothing usually associated with another gender, and who generally does not want to live full time as that gender. Transvestite is now widely considered outdated, and cross-dresser is preferred. See also TG, TS, CD, TV in the dictionary.
A performer, usually female-identifying, who dresses in an exaggerated masculine style for entertainment or fashion.
A performer, usually male-identifying, who dresses in an exaggerated feminine style for entertainment or fashion.
Both roles depend on everyone involved agreeing to it.
A person who enjoys being watched, in fantasy or in reality, by people who have agreed to watch, while naked or intimate.
Often pairs with: Voyeur
A person who enjoys watching others, usually in a sexual context, without taking part, and only when the people being watched have agreed to it.
Often pairs with: Exhibitionist
Open arrangements where a couple agrees that one or both partners will be with other people. The roles say who plays which part, and whether power or humiliation is part of it. See also ENM.
A married woman who has sexual relationships with other men, with her husband's full knowledge and consent, and to his enjoyment. Unlike cuckolding, it usually has no humiliation element.
A person who, with their partner's agreement, enjoys watching, arranging, imagining or taking part in their partner's sexual relationships with others. The Stag is the dominant partner and stays dominant when others are involved.
A person who has sexual relationships with others with their partner's approval, and sometimes their involvement. The Vixen is the submissive partner in the couple, but may be dominant with others.
A masculine-identifying person who has sex with someone else's partner, in hotwife, Stag and Vixen, or cuckold dynamics, with everyone's agreement.
Often pairs with: cuckold, Cuckoldress, Hotwife, Vixen
A man who enjoys the humiliation, or the thrill of watching or knowing, when his partner has sex with someone else, with his agreement.
Often pairs with: Cuckoldress, Bull
A woman who has sexual relationships with others while her partner, the cuckold, knows and agrees. She is often dominant to her partner, and her outside play may be part of that dynamic.
A woman who enjoys the humiliation, or the thrill of watching or knowing, when her partner has sex with someone else, with her agreement.
Often pairs with: cuckcake
A femme-presenting or femme-identifying person who has sex with the dominant partner in a cuckqueen dynamic, with everyone's agreement: the femme counterpart of a Bull.
Often pairs with: cuckqueen
A person who, with their partner's agreement, has sex with people outside their committed relationship, often as a couple.
Often pairs with: Swinger
Not kink roles as such, but common in ads: they say someone prefers a partner of a different age. Every partner is an adult.
An older woman who is mainly interested in significantly younger adult partners.
An older man who is mainly interested in significantly younger adult partners. The male counterpart of Cougar.
For people who are new, still deciding, or would rather not pick a label.
A person who is curious about kink roles and not yet sure which, if any, fit them.
A person who is actively exploring the world of kink.
A person who has not decided which kink roles, if any, they identify with.
A person whose kink identity is changing gradually over time.
A person who enjoys kink without defining a specific role, whether in power exchange, roleplay, sadomasochism, cross-dressing or fetishes. Also a catch-all for anyone into kink.
An experienced member of the kink community, usually an older woman, whom newer people go to for help and advice.
A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of pleasure.
A person with a strong focus on sensual pleasures and interests.
A person who embraces the freedom to have sex as they wish, with one partner or many, regardless of convention. Many use the word as a reclaimed, positive label.
A Dominant holds authority in the relationship or scene. A Top is the one doing the activity. Many people are both, but not always: a Service Top tops for a bottom's enjoyment without needing to hold authority, and a Dominant can direct a scene without doing anything physical.
Very little. Both are the person being tied. Rope Bunny is the more casual word, and is often used for people who model for rope performance and photography. Neither is necessarily submissive.
Both enjoy their partner being with other people. A Stag stays the dominant partner throughout. For a cuckold, humiliation is often part of it, frequently with a dominant partner, a Cuckoldress.
Both have outside partners with their partner's agreement. Hotwife usually describes the arrangement itself, with no humiliation element. Vixen describes a power dynamic: the Vixen is the submissive partner of a Stag, but may be dominant with others.
Both give total control to a partner. A slave's role centers on service and pleasing. Property is less about service and more about doing what they are told.
In D/s writing it is common to capitalize the dominant partner's title and write the submissive partner's in lowercase, as in Master and slave. We keep each role as it appears in the AseeksB app, which follows that convention for many submissive roles.
The Personals Dictionary · Personal ads for kink, ENM and poly · How to write a personal ad
Tag your post with up to 5 roles, search posts by any of the 90, and choose exactly who can see yours. Free on iOS and Android.